Is Volunteering Truly Altruistic? Nope.

On Saturday I’ll be marshalling at the Pride event in London. My friend Mickey asked me if I wanted to marshall with him. He did jokingly assure me that I didn’t have to pretend to be a lesbian to join in. Silly Mickey-poos. With me staring at half-naked men, I think it'd be obvious anyway. :D

I really really enjoy volunteering to do stuff. Knowing that I’ve helped an event to run smoothly gives me a nice buzz (and the freebies are usually nice as well). I used to volunteer to help Freshers at Middlesex University find their way around the Uni in their first week (and I’d get a few free drinks out of it too). Last summer I volunteered to help out at the Game Developers Conference (Europe). Me and 19 guys helped to make sure the conference ran smoothly and, because we did such a great job, we’ve been asked to help out at this years Develop Conference in Brighton. Hurray! Not only do we get to help out but we also get free entry to a conference we’d love to attend but can’t afford, plus, we get networking contacts, freebies, possible entrance to parties (if my friend Phil manages to get me a ticket - the invitation-only Microsoft party last year was a bit of a let-down but the free food and drink was lovely).

Me and my flatmate Silas offered to marshall at this year’s London Marathon. We got some freebies, it was a brilliant and awe-inspiring day (made me want to run the Marathon but that wore off the next day thankfully), and we also got to cheer on our friend Steve who was running the Marathon as well. Yay Steve! He's running lots of marathons all over the world this year to raise money for Marie Curie Cancer Care, so please feel free to sponsor Steve here.

So, on Saturday, I’m going to be able to do lots of my favourite things all at the same time – lucky me!

These are a few of my favourite things
a) Play with my friend Mickey
b) We can stare (and drool) at boyz
c) Do some volunteer work
d) Jumping up and down a lot and getting over-excited

I'm just wondering if there'll be any cookies there .... if you're attending the Pride event, please make sure your cookies are safe at home ....

Fab-tastic!

A Very Clever Boy Indeed!

A clever and handsome boy

While I was away at the weekend, Henry taught himself to write. What a clever boy!! I did notice as well that he'd found my secret stash of cookies. He loves having his head rubbed and scratched so he had some of that, and a few cockatiel treats. Then he sang a lot and performed tricks on his perch.

Now he just has to get rid of that awful wallpaper ....

A Furbolg 'Paws for Thought'

It had been a while since the two friends had chatted and they were very pleased to see each other. Modnahria had been, and was still busy taking exams on how to count properly so the pair would always know how many cookies they had. She would also be able to read the eat-by dates on the cookie packets (not that out-of-date cookies ever bothered furbolgs anyway). So Modnahria had decided to visit her friends in Ironforge for a short while before going back to burrow her wet nose in some pretty dry reading books. Halaleset told her friend that she'd heard that a special star grouping (she couldn't say 'constellation'), called Cookie-opeia, was visible in the Dun Morogh sky right at this moment.

It was a beautiful twilight evening as they ambled through the vast gates of Ironforge and padded into the soft snow. Suddenly, the pair were aware of a vast presence hanging before them in the air that was blocking the glow of the full moon and the special stars. The two friends stared up at the big flying spaceship that was decorated with a giant skull on each side. Each skull had a vile green liquid coming out of its mouth. The furbolgs were horrified that something so venomous and evil could possibly infiltrate their peaceful land and began to think about how they could defeat their enemy as quickly as possible by themselves (because Ironforge was fairly quiet at that point).

Cookie Contemplation

They trudged a bit further up the hill (more slowly this time as the snow was quite fresh and fairly deep for their short furry legs). At the top they turned around and Halaleset noticed a glimmer of realisation in her friend's eyes. 'Woah! They have cookies up there I bet', said Modnahria. 'So many cookies, I bet that's why it's moving,' replied Halaleset, 'and that skull has had too many and that's why it's being sick.' Modnahria was already thinking that if cookies were in the giant floaty scourge thing, then why was the skull being sick? Hala had unwittingly given her an idea that she needed to put into action. Why would someone be sick from eating lots of cookies? That was practically unheard of. Everyone knew that cookies were the best thing to eat ever, in the whole wide world.

Modnahria turned to Hala and said, 'I can prove that this floaty thing isn't real, but first I need to change into my human form in order to perform this very important task in furbolg history'. Hala nodded understandingly and watched her friend do a magic trick with one of George the Gryphon's smaller feathers. This made Modnahria and her mount feather light so they could run up the steep wintry hills of Dun Morogh, to the top of Ironforge. Hala watched and waited below, wanting to see what magic tricks her friend could perform.

You can watch Modnahria's magic video and share what Halaleset saw here

Vandor Stormpike's Beard

(A very restrained) Vasyor and Halaleset, with Vandor Stormpike

Furbolgs had always heard about the softness and tuggyness of Vandor Stormpike's beard. Apparently when Vandor's beard moulted it made perfect bedding for furbolgs and had been known to be sold for bucketloads of gold and bags of sweets. It was also rumoured in ancient mouldy texts that Vandor kept very rare cookies encrusted with 1000 year-old chewy caramel chunks tucked in his beard as well. When Vasyor and Hala met him the other night they realised that this was their chance to determine whether the rumours were true. But they couldn't do it without the rest of their furbolg friends by their sides (even if it meant sharing the cookies). So to stop themselves from touching his beard, they sellotaped their hands to their sides and politely stood next to him and grinned at Vandor Stormpike with a slightly crazed look in their eyes, as only furbolgs can.

Vasyor Gets A Surprise

Vasyor and Hala in Ironforge

Looking at Vasyor and Hala you'd think they make a perfect furbolg couple. On the day that Hala had gone home after a hard day's slaughtering and found a perfectly wrapped present on her doorstep, while Vasyor was sitting in the Ironforge inn and singing very rude songs and performing his striptease to the night elves. The present Hala found was very glittery and shiny and had a big label attached to the red ribbon that said, 'For Hala and Vasyor, handle with care'. Without waiting for Vasyor, Hala immediately ripped off the glittery wrapping, opened the box lid and out jumped an imp! As soon as the imp saw Hala he started shouting cheeky comments to her and pretending to throw fireballs at her, but once he saw she had cookies he calmed down. While he was eating those, Hala was wondering who on earth had sent her such a strange creature? She'd heard old furbolg wives tales about the rarity of baby furbolgs, and about how they suddenly appeared on doorsteps or under bushes and assumed that in this instance, she was now the mother of a very strange but handsome looking furbolg indeed. She was meeting Vasyor soon so maybe he'd know something about the imp. As she was preparing to go out, so did the imp, who was suddenly sitting in the head of a goblin reaper. 'Strange', thought Hala, 'that such a strange creature could be ours.'

Hala and the imp (and his strange goblin reaper contraption)

Vasyor phoned Hala to say that he'd earned enough cash from that night's striptease for them both to find a bigger new nest with an en-suite bathroom, and dancing pole for Vasyor to practice his entertainment skills. He also told Hala he was on his way to Arathi, so Hala headed there also, to meet Vasyor and their friends who were joining in the fight against the evil Horde. On the way there she started to think about what she was going to say to Vasyor about the imp. Would they still be able to afford their nice new nest? She hoped everything would be OK. Once she got there, she sought out her friends and very soon the battle moved from the bridge to beyond, far over into the Horde territory. There were still a few dying Horde bodies scattered on the bridge and the couple searched the pockets for cookies but to no avail. The Horde had scoffed them all. As punishment for being cookie-less, the pair ate the remaining Horde who were still alive but injured (and there were a few dozen of them as well).

Vasyor and Hala barbeque the Horde remains

All the bones had been picked clean by the pair. They also did a magic fire thing with their hands so they could barbeque some of the limbs. Hala secretly gave their imp some of the Horde eyeballs although she had to burst them first between her teeth so they were easier for him to digest. Next they found a nice place to sit and chit chat. Hala was having trouble jumping on the bridge post - she just couldn't get the height to jump (and she even tried to jump up in gnome form using her felsteed). Vasyor was attempting to show Hala how it was done but they'd both eaten too many Horde to be successful first time. 'We've gone a bit fat', said Hala to which Vasyor sadly replied, 'It's my butt isn't it?'.

Fat furbolgs attempting to sit on the bridge post

Eventually they managed to climb on top of the post, both in their natural furbolg state and it was there that Hala just decided to tell Vasyor everything that had happened while he was working. Vasyor grinned at Hala and told her how he'd gone to see the old furbolg wives and ordered a baby from the rare baby furbolg catalogue as a surprise for her. He'd earned a bit extra one night with a particularly rowdy crowd of night elves. He was a very happy furbolg daddy. Then, a look appeared on his face as he noticed the imp's ears - a far off philosophical distant look mixed with curiosity, sadness, and a tinge of anger (an extremely rare expression only to be found on furbolgs). Looking at its ears, how could the imp be his? 'It's Nirr's', he said. 'You're more than friends with that night elf', said Vasyor sadly, turning to face the long drop to the ground below. Hala stamped her big furry paws, kneeled in front of Vasyor and declared, 'But it's you I love!' Secretly both were wondering whether their order had been mixed up.

Hala pleads with Vasyor

'Noooooooooooo!' shouted Hala. 'Stop! The baby furbolg is yours!' But it was too late. Vasyor had jumped. Hala tentatively walked over to the edge, bracing herself for the tragic death scene that was she was about to face. Her lover, dead. But she was shocked by what she saw when she looked over the edge. Vasyor had jumped to scare Hala, and he'd also survived. 'He's lucky he ate far more Horde than usual', she thought. 'At least his ballooning belly stopped him from hurting himself, although he could've gone 'splat'.'

Hala spots Vasyor running away from the bridge

She watched Vasyor come puffing and panting back up to the bridge with a smug look on his face. Although Hala was elated that Vasyor had survived she was still cross he'd accused her of cheating on him with a purple-haired night elf. At that point Hala ran behind one of the posts to hide as Vasyor passed her. She watched him check his furbolg pockets and change into human form which mean't that he was going off to the Ironforge Inn again to drink away his sorrows. 'I'll make him feel better about himself tomorrow', thought Hala as she changed into gnome form, and charged towards Vasyor, pushing him off the bridge and into the depths below, and watching him bounce on his belly.

Hala pushes Vasyor off the bridge

There is a happy ending to this story. There had indeed been a mix-up in baby orders. Hala and Vasyor were reunited with their baby furbolg that had accidentally been sent to Hala's minion, Smurfy, whilst he was on holiday in Gadgetzan. A very puzzled Smurfy had grunted down the phone about the strange event to his mistress. Eventually the pair decided they would adopt the imp as his stamina skills would come in useful during some battles and he also had a fire shield. They decided to call the imp Choham (although after today's events Hala was sure she'd been given another imp when she was a Level 6 in Dun Morogh).

A stunned Smurfy with the baby furbolg

And they lived happily ever after in their new nest with en-suite bathroom and dancing pole, until their next adventure ....

The Wisdom of Arcamedis, the Night-Elf

One late evening in Dun Baldar, a party of brave fighters from the Haven guild joined their Alliance friends in Arathi to kick the asses of the evil Horde. The Haven party consisted of Halaleset, Vasyor, Arcamedis, and Click. Another friend helped the crew, who's name was Telrunya. All party members were each assigned specific jobs to aid the cause - either heal friends, or kick the crap out of taurens, trolls, orcs, and undeads (no matter how handsome). The battle was going extremely well and at these points in time where victory is imminent, the great Arcamedis was suddenly overwhelmed with wisdom he felt he should share with his friends. Hala, who (needed to stand on tippy toes to) literally looked up to her Unky Arcamedis, managed to capture one of these great moments so she wouldn't forget it later on while she was having a midnight snack (and filling her bed with crumbs).

The Wisdom of Arcamedis

Three Go To Undercity

The Adventure Begins

One night after a long day's struggle with questing, the three intrepid explorers still had enough energy to get themselves into mischief. Modnahria suggested going to the Horde city of Undercity and looking for boys to flirt and giggle with. She'd seen some trolls over in that neck of the woods who weren't that bad looking - maybe they could get a few cheap dates. Tialana and Halaleset's eyes widened at the thought and declared that this was an excellent idea and the three immediately started spraying themselves with 'Eau de Chat-Pisse' so the Horde wouldn't recognise the party as Alliance. They would also still smell gorgeous for the hunky trolls they were sure to meet.

A hunky troll - hot stuff!

As they were riding through Alterac Valley they exclaimed how lovely the countryside was. Aside from the spiders, the trio agreed that this was a pleasant area and, secretly being furbolgs, felt an affiliation for the bears. They stopped to say 'rawr' to the people at Dalaran and Modnahria told Tia and Hala the story behind the great purple orb and how nobody really knew what was in it. The three thought that maybe they might find sweets, shiny things, magic things, and especially magic cookies.

Once they'd swum across Lordamere Lake, they progressed through to the outskirts of Undercity where everything was quiet and not a Horde was to be seen. Modnahria knew of a secret entrance into Undercity which involved going through the sewers. The three ran around the edge of the wall so as not to get nasty stuff on their nice clothes although the smell wasn't too bad once they'd got used to it. Once inside Undercity they literally bounced off a couple of Undercity guardians. Big huge ugly blokes with their tummies ripped open ('too many cookies', thought the three almost psychically and made a mental note to be watchful of their own tummies exploding). The Undercity guardians were a bit too big and cumbersome to deal any great damage to the adventurous three and it wasn't long before Mod, Tia, and Hala had whooped about six gynormous sweaty guardian asses, and stolen their cookie supplies.

Fighting an Undercity guardian

As they wound their way around the city, they were suddenly aware that the local defense had transmitted an alert as to their presence. Expecting lots of handsome Horde to be upon them in a moment, the trio just carried on as their beautiful selves, however it wasn't long before the three had their own asses whooped and were soon in the spirit realm and transported back to the graveyard. Undeterred, they refused to give up on their search for a date, especially since the Eau de Chat-Pisse still worked when they were dead, and they made their way back to their bodies in Undercity. On the way there, they found a throne room and each took a turn having a go sitting on the throne. Being princesses anyway, they felt very comfortable but none dared tell the other that the seat actually felt a bit cold and hard. So on their turn, they sat and looked at their friends and grinned big cheesy grins and pretended to give orders to people (who weren't really there).

Modnahria, in spirit form, sitting on the throne
(Hala and Tia awaiting their turn)

Off went the three again down underground to regain their earthly forms and seek out hot dates. Unfortunately for them, all they found was a couple of vendors selling rubbish souvenirs however the friends bought ice-creams and 'Lick Me Quick' hats (a particularly favourite habit of gnomes where bald heads are concerned), and then went home back to Ironforge. They vowed to return to Undercity again one day and practice their flirting skills on trolls.

Hmmmm .....

Check these out ....

http://www.sirnonamesplace.de/flash/ahhh.swf
(found by Modnahria)

http://dojo.fi/~rancid/loituma__.swf

(found by Kenric)

Metalgear's New Mount

Metalgear and his new mount, Hala (a furbolg in gnome disguise), Felicia the Felsteed, and Choham (Hala's minion and butler)

Hala's dwarf friend Metalgear got his new mount on Saturday. He was excited as he'd saved long and hard for it and the pair set off for Amberstill Ranch in Dun Morogh. Hala already had her mount but out of politeness she ran next to her friend as she didn't want to leave him behind. She also liked watching him run in his new leggings .... After he'd made the difficult choice of deciding what colour ram he wanted (the pair thought the grey ones were cute), the pair rode off into the wilds of Dun Morogh and raced each other back to Ironforge. Despite Hala having Mithril Spurs attached to her nice orc-lined boots, Metalgear still gave her a run for her money. Having said this, she still managed to overtake him on the run up to Ironforge. Halaleset competitive? Pfft!

A Homely Furbolg Retreat

Last night, Hala took her friend Vororth to a secret location, the new home of her furbolg friend Modnahria. It didn't take her and Smurfy the voidwalker long to blindfold him with bits of old sellotape and she had to secure his hands and ankles with old bits of straw so he wouldn't try and take the blindfold off. With Vororth safely slung over her shoulder and unable to struggle, and completely at her mercy, she slowly set off on her journey, disregarding all thoughts of drawing rude pictures on his bald head. As they approached the main entrance, the pair were met with fierce rantings and ravings from the guardian furbolg but Modnahria was soon abated when she realised it was her friends who had accidentally set off the secret alarm she'd had installed earlier that day. The stupid Venture Co. engineers had got the wires mixed up and were coming back the next day to fix it.

Once inside, Modnahria helped Hala rip off Vororth's blindfold and bindings. Vororth didn't mind losing his eyebrows from the sellotape. "They'll grow back", he said. First the pair were shown the kitchen. It was very basic and very lovely and homely. A perfect amount of space to slaughter and then rip apart humans and animals without worrying about getting blood and crap all over the place. There was also plenty of storage space for lots and lots of different types of cookies. Modnahria also had a nice selection of cookie jars she'd crafted from human heads. "I got the idea from the Indiana Jones film", she said. "Y'know, the bit where they scoop out the monkey brains?"


The kitchen area

Hala needed the toilet and so she followed Modnahria to the cutest little room of green gemstones she'd ever seen. As she sat down to go about her business, Smurfy insisted on still guarding her but he very politely turned his back after grunting once or twice. Vororth was very impressed with the decor and asked Modnahria where she got the gemstones from. Modnahria told Vororth that the gemstones were imported from a very special place and wasn't too keen on revealing the location of the seller as she wanted to be the exclusive furbolg with the bestest house ever.


Halaleset goes about her business

The pair were also shown the bedroom which had lovely lighting. Modnahria said that she was lonely. Hala said that because the bedroom area was very romantic she shouldn't have to wait long for a mate. Just down the corridor was an area that would be converted into a games room with a pool table and maybe some slot machines. Modnahria was also going to erect a front door as she was sick of all the adventurers traipsing through her house looking for quests and then leaving muddy footprints all over her expensive Silithus rugs.


Modnahria's beautiful bedroom

The three had a lovely time in the new house and promised not to tell anyone the location. Vororth was told the location as he didn't want to lose his eyebrows twice in a row but he's very good at keeping secrets.

And so, the pair left Modnahria, promising to return soon for cookies and coffee and maybe some Rumsey Rum, and Noggenfogger Potions.

Are You A Friend Of A Furbolg?

If you are, then you'll give us a cookie when we ask for it.

Yesterday, I was invited to join Nirr and Modnahria in a cookie robbing frenzy that was taking place in a dark corridor in Ironforge. They had both managed to steal 5 gold and a cake so far and were currently looking for more cookies. We had lots of fun and were soon joined by other furbolgs who'd heard of our daring exploits.

One human we were trying to rob was particularly mean and stingy and kept trying to escape. What he didn't understand was that we would be able to smell him no matter where he went. He stupidly tried to hearthstone from the corridor to the Ironforge Inn, thinking that we'd assume he'd hearthstoned to Stormwind but we knew. We scampered off to the Inn and found him and licked him, and then drew straws to see who was going to eat which limb. He was very scared. Hahahahaha.


One human rubbed my tummy which was nice but it didn't distract me from demanding cookies.

Cookies. RAWR!

More exciting pix of the event on Modnahria's 'Rawr!'

At work on time today because ....

... I wore trousers (and I didn't have to run for the bus)

I got a lift with Henry's cousin, George the Gryphon (pictured above)

Steev Goodwin - My Very Lovely Clever Friend

Steev Goodwin is my very clever, interesting, and amusing geeky friend (well I have a few of those) but this friend writes useful books.

Steev had his first book published last year and it was taken up as a textbook by an American University because it was so good.

You can buy it here.

Now he's had his second book published. The Game Developer's Open Source Handbook. There's no picture of the front cover available as yet but it'll be here as soon as it's released. You can buy it here soon.

And he's cute too ;)

I was a bit late for work today .....

.... I ran for the bus and my skirt nearly fell down. I clung on to it and persisted but the damn driver drove off as I got to the front of the bus :(

Me running for the bus

Five Go To Uldaman

Once upon a time ....



Halaleset was looking through her quest log and noticed that she had a lot of green quests that needed doing. Especially those ones in the dungeons. As she was thinking that the green colour for the quests was not as nice as her green hair and eye colour, she was also chatting to her paladin friend Vororth. He'd been wanting to try out his new sword for ages (but it wasn't as good as his other one, even though it glowed magnificently). He offered to help her finish her green quests and both friends expressed an interest for killing ass in Uldaman. Hala and Vororth also enlisted the help of their friends Adre (the night-elf warrior), Vasyor (a human rogue), and Lasombre (a night-elf priest). Although Lasombre was a level 39 and a few levels too low for Uldaman, the party of five thought that he was very brave indeed when he offered to come along and help heal the party. 'I'll stay at the back', he said.

So off they rode to Uldaman, stopping off only at Loch Modan, to buy champagne, truffles, cheese sandwiches, crisps, sweets, and bottles of Coke (a superior mana potion that is also important for burping competitions). There were a load of miscreants outside Uldaman, so once they were despatched, sliced, and placed between the party's remaining slices of bread, they began their intrepid encounter into Uldaman. The friends killed very well together and stole lots of stuff and broke lots of things, generated a mass bloodshed, and then went off to kill Ironaya. After Vororth summoned her, she came crashing through the door and shouted a load of crap but the friends ignored her and whooped her ass til she fell to the floor and couldn't get up again. At that point all five friends jumped on her and pretended she was a bouncy castle as they tried to find the loot she was hiding. After a short while, the loot was found. Vasyor jumped up and down excitedly and asked everyone if he could have the Chippendale pants. The friends, seeing how excited he was, said that they didn't mind. Halaleset said to Vasyor there was a condition to him having the pants and said, 'Show us a dance, in your Chippendale pants.' Vasyor happily complied with this request as he was eager to show off his new eight-pack of muscles. As soon as he began to dance like Travolta, so did the others. Halaleset and Adre really got into the groove and couldn't take their eyes of Vasyor as he wrenched off his armour, item by item.


'Quick', said Adre to Halaleset. 'Have you got two tens for a twenty? Then we can both tuck a tenner in his pants.' As Hala fumbled in her purse and thrust a grubby note in Adre's direction, Hala noticed that Adre had already set off in the direction of the gyrating rogue. 'Bags me putting it in the front', mouthed Adre to Hala. Halaleset furiously nodded as she ran behind Vasyor to tuck a tenner in the back of his shorts. But, alas, this excitement did not last for long as strange bat-like objects flew into the chamber with the intention of eating the party of five. Of went Vororth, the heroic paladin, and Lasombre, the brave priest, into the breach to save the lives of their half-naked friends. They fought their way to the end of Uldaman, stopping for half an hour in a room with stone giants, to eat their truffles and drink their champagne. Seeing as the chamber had high ceilings, they decided that this was a perfect opportunity to have a quick burping competition with the Coke. Unfortunately, because they were all so good at it, and all burped at the same time, they all went completely deaf for a while so didn't actually get to hear the winning burp. None dared tell the other about their deafness though for fear of being laughed at. Towards the end, Lasombre had to leave Uldaman to rescue a princess from a dragon in a far off-land. The remaining party of four showed their gratitute to their dear friend by playfully rugby tackling him to the floor and then giving him a group hug.

As Lasombre waved goodbye, the heroic Vororth had already begun fighting the monsters in the next room. The three other friends joined in and it wasn't long before they reached the end boss. The party of four wondered what they were going to do and decided they may as well have a go on their own until Vasyor pronounced that their brave and majestic friend Modnahria was coming to help. While riding to Uldaman on her great white kitty, Modnahria gave her friends instructions on how to kill the big boss and his minions. Once inside the instance, the party summoned their friend to their group, and Modnahria appeared in an almost blinding blaze of light and beauty. So much so that the party thought for a moment that they'd summoned an angel. The party got stuck in and very soon they were victorious in their slayings. Halaleset did a /choo choo of victory for her friends and then they all went back home to Ironforge, had a few beers and fell out of the inn and into their various homes. Before retiring for the evening, Halaleset said to Adre that she'd been hoping for another sneak peek of Vasyor's pecs. Adre said that she was sure there'd be another time. Vororth sighed as he listened to the inane chatter, whilst Modnahria changed into a furbolg so she could have cuddles and hugs before going off to buy a new outfit.

And they all lived happily ever after.