PhD Student in Alien Abduction Shock Horror! - "It Wasn't Me," She Said.

Ok so I haven't been abducted nor have I abducted an alien but I thought the title seemed exciting. In the previous post I mentioned I was going to see Silent Hill tonight but unfortunately that's not happening now *sigh*. Instead we're going to see it on Monday so my review will not be available until next week when most people will have seen the film anyway except for those few who are too scared ....

I'm off to Leeds this afternoon for a break from studying. I'm going to stay with my lovely cousin Hannah. The only things I've packed are dvds, video games, and my Gamecube. These are the only things we're planning to play with over the next three days. Oh, I forgot the 'eating crap' and 'gossiping' bit.

And for the train journey, I have bite-sized donuts, a pack of jelly babies, a pack of liquorice allsorts, some twiglets, and a bottle of water - because I'm a healthy chick. Seriously tho, you never know if the train will break down. My friend Silas said that I could raid the buffet car. What? What? Me raid the buffet car? Don't be stupid! I'm lazy in that I've already designed and made robots to do that for me, plus they can set traps for any other passengers who get there before me. "But you said you were lazy," he said. "But not lazy enough to make robots." "Sheesh!", I said, "You can sit down to make robots." *roll eyes*

Have fun all and be good xxxx

The fear of reviews tends to create fear for the film – Silent Hill

Konami, the company that created my most favourite video game ever

Silent Hill

The game that portrays the immortal line

“The fear of blood tends to create fear for the flesh”

The film of the game was released today.
View the Silent Hill movie trailer here
Listen to Akira Yamaoka's haunting Silent Hill soundtracks here

I’ve been waiting for this to happen for, oh let’s see now, months? Yes, probably. My complete overexcitedness gradually mellowed to the odd moment of patience. Yes me, patient, rarely. I’ve been so looking forward to seeing it and am finally going to visit Silent Hill on Tuesday with my friends. I’d enjoyed Radha Mitchell's performance in Pitch Black– nothing spectacular but good (I was too busy watching Vin Diesel tbh). It’ll be good to see Sean Bean as well. I just hope they don’t let me down. Y’see I made the mistake of listening to/reading reviews before I’ve seen the much anticipated film. I enjoyed Resident Evil however I was a bit dubious about the way Nemesis was portrayed later on in the sequel. The Lara Croft film was so diabolical I'm not gonna bother to link it. I haven’t seen Doom yet so I can’t comment but I expect it’s guns and shooting and dying and screaming and running – which is what the game is so why would I expect more. But Silent Hill is a breed all of its own and for this it deserves special attention ….

In the beginning there was Silent Hill ....


Harry Mason is looking for his daughter Cheryl who’s gone missing in Silent Hill. A town that has horror writer’s surnames for names. A town that has two churches, one of them you wouldn’t want to visit on a sunny Sunday. A town that has Lovecraft-type creatures around every corner and in every dark niche, and crazy inhabitants who have ‘come to witness the beginning’. I insisted to myself that I had to play this game in the dark otherwise what was the point? Having watched horror films since a tender age, I figured I’d be fine. I had to stop every so often, put the controller down, and go sit with my flatmate and friend Claire and watch her play Zelda, just to let my heart rate slow down a bit. I was so disappointed when I eventually finished the game as I didn’t want it to end. I loved it, I was scared of it, and I craved more ….

Then Silent Hill 2: Restless Dreams was released ….


Unfortunately for me, this game was released just before my exams which I was due to sit in the New Year. I still bought it anyway and figured that if I revised hard enough over Christmas I would give myself New Year’s Eve off to play it to my heart’s content. New Year’s Eve I finished studying around early afternoon and went off to the supermarket to get supplies (beer, snacks etc.). I played for 12 straight hours and missed the midnight celebration completely. I was stuck in the sewer and couldn’t figure out how to open the trap door in the floor. I got halfway through the game and continued revising the next day. My reward for finishing my exams was to finish Silent Hill. And I did. And I was still scared while playing it. For me, Silent Hill 2 had one of the most abhorrent, terrifying creatures ever – Pyramid Head. It’s the way he stands and watches you in the dark when you first meet him that freaks me out even now after numerous plays. I was also particularly impressed by the noise of his knife scraping on the floor *shudder*


The game’s hero, James Sunderland is stuck in the nightmare world of Silent Hill. His wife has died 3 years previously but he’s received a letter from her saying she’s waiting for him in their special place in Silent Hill. Eek! Eddie, one of the supporting characters James meets seems like a dumb ass at first who thinks that ‘killin’ a person ain’t bad’. James also meets Maria, a doppleganger of his wife Mary and you just never know who’s side she’s on …. James battles monsters in an old lunatic asylum, and apartment buildings with a creepy child intent on making his life hell, not only by running off into the fog, but also by shouting, “You didn’t love Mary.” Poor James. But hey! I paid money to witness his living hell!

A special edition of the game was released at a later date. This had a bonus extra game included called Born From A Wish, where you could play Maria as the lead character.

I did very well in my exams btw *cheesy grin*

Next, Silent Hill 3. Again, waited for impatiently, and sometimes jumping up and down with excitement as the release date got nearer.


Poor Heather (again, I paid good money for watching and participating in her traumas). She’s getting herself into some scrapes and isn’t helped by the fact that there’s a really annoying guy who says he’s a detective hot on her trail. It was good to play a female hero for a change and after playing through the game the first time I got to unlock secret outfits which were fabulous (and made me wish I had some of them as well). Heather is on her way home but, unsurprisingly, she has to go through hell literally to get there. Great use is made of the fairground scenes (in fact this is so for other SH games), and also as before, the creatures are horrid. Plain horrid. Slimy, disgusting and nasty. Hurray! I’ve also played this game several times through. Another nice aspect of this game is Robbie the Rabbit. Despite the fact he’s covered in blood he still looks very kewt and creepy.


Next up, Silent Hill 4: The Room


As always, I was desperate for the release date and again, played it like a loon but it just wasn’t the same. The gameplay style had changed as had the menu system. It took me ages to get used to it (which is fair enough) but why fiddle with something that’s already worked well in the past. I liked the way the creators had used ‘something’ from one of the past SH game and made it into this story. It was scary, made me jump but just lacked that little bit of excitement for me. Having said that, I was still disappointed when I finished it, never wanted it to end, and it was nice to see Robbie the Rabbit again.


Silent Hill games are not your everyday point and shooters. They tend to work on the understated rather than the ‘in yer face’. The main character has some trauma they have to come to terms with and this unfortunately means for them (and you) battling through minions before realising the 'truth'. I recommend playing Silent Hill games for many reasons including

- you get to pick keys out of puddles of blood
- there are some tricky puzzles to get your teeth into
- you also get to put your hand in dirty toilet bowls … mmm …
- you can change the blood colour in the game settings – purple, yay!
- you get to kick monsters when they’re down (and in some cases hear them squeak - cool!)
- and you get some crackin' nightmares (sleep disorder-tastic! - see Sleep Disorder post)

Anyway, what's the point of this obsessive raving? Well I suppose I’ve started to hear reviews of the film that haven’t been that great. I kind of expected that to happen judging from past games that have been turned into what pass as films and I was trying so hard not to build my hopes up. It’s too late now tho. I’ll sink into my seat at the cinema next week with my large salted popcorn and just take it like the freak I am. So if the film is crap who cares? I still have the games to come home to. And Silent Hill 5 will be out in a few months ….

Happy Birthday Henry!!

On Easter Sunday it was Henry’s 6th birthday and as usual he was a lucky boy with presents and treats. I remember at Christmas he didn’t like me wrapping his presents as he was a bit scared of the brightly coloured ‘big’ shapes (which gave me the opportunity to unwrap more presents). So for his birthday I gave him his presents unwrapped. I bought him an extra special perch which has not one but two standing areas and it also files his nails at the same time (unfortunately it does not come with free nail polish). He also got a packet of Kiwi Krackers, one of which is hanging up atm for him to eat. He came out to play for a while and thoroughly enjoyed himself. He managed to crap on my arm and also tried to bite my flatmate Silas a number of times. My small boy has a sense of humour too. He lowers his head which means he wants you to scratch it however when he does it to Silas, and Silas goes to scratch his head, Henry bites him …. mwahahahahahaha! While out playing he pulled a few loose threads on the top I was wearing and shouted a lot and generally looked cute and fluffy. He got lots of kisses and scratchy head until he was eventually put to bed. I tried to give him some of his birthday cake but he wasn’t up for chocolate so of course, we had to eat it for him. Lucky us.


Henry’s new super-duper birthday outfit. Perfect for clubbing and pulling the birds. Especially designed by his friend Mickey.

After Henry donned his new outfit and gave me a twirl I decided to do an internet search for pet costumes. Just for more everyday outfits that he could wear when shouting at car alarms outside the flat.

Costumecraze.com – these outfits border between the kewt, to the weird, to the completely insane. Let’s take a look at the kewt ones…..
AwAw!AWW!Bless


Now let’s take a look at the weird ones ….
Hmmmm.....

And those outfits that are ….
WRONG!IN!SO!MANY!


WAYS!










You too could also get your child to look like Stephen King's scary ‘It’ clown ….spot the difference

It?Or It?


Next I visited Flightquarters.com. They do widdle bird jumpers and they do look reeeeeally kewt! I’d like to get one Henry but I fear my flesh on my hands would be in tatters if I tried to get him to wear one. I did find a picture of a parrot wearing one and he looks very handsome.

Jumper off!Jumper On!

FlightQuarters also do bird diapers. Now I’m not sure I’m entirely in agreement with these. Birds naturally poop – of course! But birds can also be trained to poop in one place as Henry has been – on me usually. I dunno, they just look a bit wrong. Anyway, they have a range of outfits, none of which Henry would wear. At all. Ever. The Flightsuits come in a variety of colours – I’d have to choose Pumpkin Orange so it would match Henry’s cheeks (facial cheeks of course). The Flightsuits also come in a variety of fabulous designs. Here's a sample ....

Henry could be a widdle Beefeater like in the Tower of London ...

... or a little waiter and he could use a little tray with sweets on it and seed buns

But my little boy is cute on his own. He doesn't need outfits to make him more adorable (except of course the one he got for his birthday).

You Can’t Get This Shopping Advice in Cosmopolitan

I went shopping in Cardiff recently on my own. I didn’t have much time to shop (about an hour and a half) so I needed to get the things I wanted quickly. I usually like to escape from the general noise (e.g. screaming children) while I’m shopping so I listen to music on my ipod and, on this particular day, found myself listening to the Star Wars Soundtrack.

Here’s a tip for free. Listen to the main Star Wars Theme whilst you’re picking what you want in a big clothing shop. It motivates you to move quickly through the crowds while making quick but accurate choices about what to wear (or so you think). The odd calm moments in the main theme can occur at the right time when you’re facing a group of women who you’ve accidentally trodden on and then pushed out of the way and they’re glaring at you like you’re an idiot (because you are). The uplifting moments give you the courage to smile serenely, use the force to make them think you’re not the droid they’re looking for, make them think it’s their fault, and then you march on to the next clothing rail. Use your lightsaber to carelessly toss aside and singe those fashion items which you deem tasteless and cheap (forget we’re in Primark for the moment).

Make sure you’ve got the Imperial March ready to play when you’re about to make your way to the long and tedious cashpoint queue. The sensation of actually being Darth (Princess) Vader gives you the right to stride to the front of the queue whilst using the force calmly and competently to daze and then force-throw those queuers who do not look upon you as a fashion icon, out on to the shop floor.

After your successful shopping trip you can take yourself off to the Mos Eisley Cantina to laugh at the reprobates and celebrate being a sith-hot rock-hard shopper.




While you're at it, go shopping at Tyrant Designs and get this cool design on a T-shirt! Wooo!

Statistical Conundrum

My friend Tamzin and I decided to go to a statistics lecture at a conference we attended recently. My stats knowledge used to be quite ropey but has improved considerably over the last few months and I thought at least I would understand the majority of what was being talked about. Tamzin however is very good at statistics and teaches it (and very well I’ve heard). It was a great lecture and we learned about what the ‘p value’ really means, cluster analysis (which I might have a go at) plus loads of other really interesting stuff. At the end the lecturers had a Q&A session. There’s a statistical query I’ve had for quite a while and haven’t been able to find the answer from anywhere and, suffice to say, these lecturers didn’t know the answer either.

The question is –

“There are three ways to save scores from a Principal Components Analysis. The first is the Regression option, the second is the Anderson-Rubin way (which is the one I use so I can use the scores to do ANOVA), and the third is the Bartlett’s option. What is the Bartlett’s option? What does it assume? When would it be used?

If anyone knows the answer please tell me. It’s driving me bonkers not knowing. But explain it in jellyhead terms please.

Crumbly Biscuit Love

Having just moved into a new flat it’s difficult sometimes to keep up with telling everyone you’ve moved, including the bill companies, and then getting everything sorted and put away in the right place etc. etc. So, after having moved into a new flat with my friend Silas, I packed stuff away and then continued devotedly watching episodes of 24 so I could watch my hero Kiefer Sutherland save the world. He’s a great looking guy but I love his acting as well. I also love the way he says ‘primary’ at the beginning of each Series 1 episode. Anyway, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating crumbly biscuits.
I’ve always had a ‘thing’ for Kiefer, ever since I watched ‘The Lost Boys’ donkeys years ago. A great film with great props – from the bottle of blood down to the sound of grandpa’s car horn as he drives away from the house to meet the widow for a date, taking his gift of a stuffed animal with him.

So, it was with a slight shock one morning when I received a letter from the TV Licensing people stating that my TV Licence was a month out-of-date. Eek! I thought I’d sorted that out. I’d better do something so I can watch more 24. My jellyhead took over and I put the letter ‘somewhere safe’ so I wouldn’t forget to sort it out. The day I actually paid the TV Licence I received another letter from the TV Licence people saying they were sending the boys round to interview me. I didn’t have to worry too much about it, but, I thought, what if …… ? What if one of the boys was Kiefer? Maybe I should go back to the Post Office and demand my money back and then go back home and wait for our door to be kicked in by Keifer. I’d hide in the fridge and then when he found me and hauled me in to the bedroom to punish me, I’d offer him chocolate in return for being gentle. Pah! I’ve eaten all the chocolate. Oh well ……. ‘please Mr Keifer, please don’t hurt me’. Hehe.

And just for the record, I’ve paid my TV licence for the next year (March 2007).

My Excuse For A Sleep disorder

I have a sleep disorder. I’m not sure what it’s called but a psychologist friend thinks it’s called REM Epilepsy Sleep Disorder. Although I don’t have epilepsy, I sometimes have particularly disturbing dreams when feeling particularly anxious about something like deadlines, or being upset over something. The dream content is quite disturbing (lucky me) and usually involves me having to do something to someone that I don’t want to do. At the same time I’m resisting, I’m struggling to wake up and it’s almost as if I can’t move or breathe. When I do finally wake, I have to take a huge breath and then feel like I’m paralysed for a second or two and I’m absolutely terrified. Also, when I’m asleep I kick, punch, push etc. etc. Not all the time but past boyfriends complain of bruises to various parts of the body (hehe). Seriously tho, I don’t remember doing these things but I do remember it happening at an early age. When my dad went away on business I’d share a bed with my mum and she used to say that I kicked her a lot in the night. Poor mum. So obviously these limb movements indicate that I’m enacting my dreams as I sleep. An example of a tame dream I’ve had is when I was attacked in a flat I used to share with my friend Claire. It was odd in that I was being attacked by a four foot high crustacean that was clinging to my leg. I was trying to shake it off my leg and woke up shaking my leg.

So, I decided to look up REM Epilepsy Sleep Disorder on the net (something I always shout at my mum for doing when she’s trying to self-diagnose). Salah Uddin & Jarmi (2005) have provided a concise description of the symptoms and prevalence etc. of this disorder although I’m not convinced that it’s my sleep disorder. For one thing, there is no murderous intent in the involuntary limb actions (shame really).

So the moral of this story is, if you ever decide you want to sleep with me, don’t. And if you insist (aw shucks), give me a slight sedative first if you want to leave my bed alive …..

How I Came To Be A Game Tester ….

So how did I get into game testing? Quite by chance really. I was already a committee member of the IGDA and had already met the majority of the guys who made up the rest of the committee. All of them were involved in some way in the game industry and some worked at Ideaworks 3D. Jim Verhaeghe is a Producer whilst Mickey is a Junior Designer, and Dean is a Game Tester. The Sims 2 Mobile was in production at the time and the company were wanting game testers who were familiar with The Sims to test the game. My friend Tamzin is a big Sims fan so Mickey sent me an email asking whether she would be interested in testing the game. Unfortunately, for her she was busy with research at the time (and gutted that she couldn’take the opportunity to test) so I offered to test instead. I was called for an interview a couple of days later and it was the best interview I’ve ever had. What can be better than being asked questions about my favourite games, and what aspects of games I really enjoy. I was interviewed for the best part of an hour by Carlo, and then Jason Cumberbatch, the QA Manager came in to say ‘hi’ and explain what happens when a game is tested. As you’ve probably guessed, I was successful at my interview and was completely overexcited on my first day and I had no idea what the experience would be like. On my first day walking into the big office I noticed how quiet everyone was. Having been used to working and chatting simultaneously I didn’t even dare cough. It was soon apparent that it was a friendly quiet atmosphere. Basically, over the next few weeks the testers played parts of the game, or sometimes just played through as much of the game as we could. If there was any aspect of the game that didn’t work correctly or looked like it shouldn’t be there we had to list the details on a bug report. Not only does a game tester have to determine the seriousness of the bug, we also have to provide a summary, followed by a detailed step-by-step procedure of how to reach the bug from a certain point in the game. This is not as easy as it sounds and a lot of concentration is needed. I really enjoyed my 40 hours work at Ideaworks3D and have since been called back to work on some software evaluation for Jim. Of course, I can’t talk about it …